A Simple Morning

So I actually meant to post this yesterday, but due to unforeseen problems I am now posting this today, but no matter. Actually, those problems might be more foreseen than usual, but I will try my best to fix them, in the mean time I have this little short story, or rather short dialogue to share as I made it a few days ago. In my opinion, pieces that have small gimmicks or are gimmicks in of themselves are always fun to read and are always fun to deconstruct. As you read past the first paragraph I’m sure you would have already realized what my gimmick is. Apart from that, it’s just a really short and a really cute/ funny banter from two friends. Take it for what you will, here is “A Simple Morning”.

“No, that simply isn’t how it’s done,” the man in the white lab coat said. He turned his coffee cup in his hands while watching the steam rise from it. He was entranced by the seemingly random pattern it exuded, he wanted to crack it open, figure out what made the steam move in such a way. Perhaps it had its own feelings. Perhaps not.  The man sitting on the stool across from him had a worn t-shirt on and was in his boxers. He had just woken up, and was unshaven. He was more brazen to say the least, not like his friend of science, but rather he was more open minded. He had scruffy hair and didn’t have any glasses, unlike his lab coated friend.  He sported a simple cup of coffee as well, however, his was empty.

“Oh? Then how would you do it?” The scruffy man said.

“The logical way.  How else?” The lab coated man said with complete reprise.

“Really now? Please explain.”

“Well, it’s not a matter of mathematics or science. If I wanted to go over to the girl sitting at table 3 and ask for her number only using subtle hints as I make normal conversation, I would do just so. ”

“Okay. So what’s your first move?”

“What do you mean? I explained what I would do.”

“Okay, let me rephrase. Please give me your full hypothetical lab report on the experiment.”

“I get a feeling that you’re making fun of me.”

“How did you get that?”

“No matter, if it has to be so, I will do it so. I am a man of logic, and I will show you that it’s as easy as can be.”

“Great, hit me up with the game plan.”

“First, I will walk over to her table.”

“Sure, makes sense.”

“As I walk over to her table, she will turn as to greet me.”

“Or she’s just simply acknowledging you. Doesn’t mean it’s a greeting.”

“Ahem. This is my report, yes?”


“She turns her head to greet me, and I sit down across from her. Oh, what was it you said that she did at her table?”

“She sits with her laptop and satirically reviews the ethics of movie characters so that the masses of movie fans can debate over the contingences of their next favorite feature.”

“Right, she does….. that. And while she does that, I ask her a question.”

“I don’t know if you can hear me here with your head up in the clouds, but I’m sighing now.”

“And once I have caught her attention with my pristine upward attire, she will be entranced by my person. She will have no qualms about answering my question.”

“That question being?”

“Madam, if you would be so inclined, could I have your cell phone number? It will be most beneficial as to ascertain our everlasting friendship.”

“And if your head was in the clouds, so is your vision, so I’m rolling my eyes right now.”

“And then from then on, we would meet every day at the cafe, have intellectual conversations about the movement of the stars, the creatures found in the deep unexplored ocean and of biogenetics. ”

“This isn’t going to end well.”

“And then we would move on to a more intimate relationship, one filled with promises, hope and a beautiful summer side home. Oh if only you could see it!”

“If only…”

“And then….. a family. Yes! A family that’s exactly what will happen next. You see, we will have great children, intelligent and beautiful, we will live long happy lives as we explore the stars and the seas and as we find new scientific discoveries and show the world. ”

“I don’t know whether your explaining how to get a woman, or explaining your dreams.”

“And then, on those starry nights, we will sit on the patio with a telescope alongside our children; gazing up at shooting stars and blessing our happy lives. ”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten you so riled up.”

“And then, after that, we would…. and then…. and then….”

“OKAY! I get it.”

“So you see.”

“I see what?”

“So you see just how brilliant and well thought up my plan is? It follows a logical step by step basis on how to acquire what you want. Just follow my plan and you will get everything.”

“Sure sounded like your teenage love dream though.”

“Fool. You will never acquire what you want with that attitude. You must break all bounds and follow the logical steps I have provided you with.”

“And I’ve been trying to say that your plan is useless. No, I’m sorry, it’s not useless. It’s hardly a plan, it’s a fan fiction written by a teenage girl after seeing that her favorite guy in a boy band has recently went solo. ”

“I don’t think we will ever reach a mutual agreement on this case. You just simply lack the right logical direction in how to handle the matter and you keep pushing me away.”

“I’m pushing you away because you’re not helping. Look, just listen to me, and hear me out.”

“I’ve listened to it for a hundred times now. It’s no good.”

“It’s simple social skills. I just need you to practice with me.”

“And I’m saying that it doesn’t follow logical conventions. Your actions and words are all based on randomness, luck at best.  You go with the ‘flow’ as you say, and none of it is even precise. What if she doesn’t say this? What if she doesn’t say that? That’s your entire premise.”

“And I’m saying that’s how things work in this world. What people say at anytime isn’t determined by a set of numbers, or it can’t even be determined by simple logic. People are delicate, they over exaggerate, they cry, they get embarrassed.  People are random in essence. People have mood swings, we are creatures that are known for our intelligence, but that also makes us susceptible to putting on airs. Conversations in the real world aren’t scripted, they’re sculpted.  What we say and what we do are determined by how we feel. There’s flow, we create that flow, we make it so that our words mesh, we make sense of our own world, not any algorithm.”

“So why do you need me to practice with? If your entire plan is to rely on instincts alone?”

“I told you…. I’m a bit shy.”

“And what good is having me here? Clearly a man, help you get a woman?”

“I just need you to act, okay? I just need to talk, to get this out of my system. A trial run, if you would be so inclined.”

“A trial for something that’s inherently unplanned for anyway?”

“Take it for what you will, but remember, even the most unpredictable things are tested for. When have we ever in our history been so sure of something that we didn’t need to make simulations?”

“Even if it’s ‘on the flow’ you say….”

“Even if the results I need are obtained from randomness. It wouldn’t hurt. ”

“You know, you’re one contradicting man. Everything you do and say. I swear….”

“And that’s why you’re still my friend!”

“Say what you will.”

“Oh you know it’s true!”

“Besides, today, I have a feeling that things might work well for you.”

“Oh? What formula did you use to derive that?”

“No formula this time. Just a feeling. A feeling of randomness. So, let’s get started.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Thank me once you get her.”


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