Hello once again, and this time we have yet another one of these “strange” pieces following up the “Letters To Myself” one which hopefully, had some kind of underlying strangeness that you noticed. You know, things aren’t always what they seem and I always try to hammer this point home because again, I love when the readers are able to contribute as much to the story as the writer. It’s this kind of intimate collaboration where only a few mediums can really do you know? But for today, I would like you guys to be as ready as you can be because this piece is not only strange, but has a few quirks which I haven’t played around with enough and quite frankly I need to play around with more. You’ll see…. you’ll see. But anyway, here you go and prepared to be quite freaked out. Maybe more so than you would think, once you understand. Take it for what you will, here’s “” (Yes there is no title, it’s not an accident).
Have you ever gotten the feeling that someone something was watching you? I have. All the time. In fact, there is never a time where something hasn’t been watching me. How can I say this, you ask? Well, let me tell you a story about my life.
It all started when I was born; yes I know, bare with me, this might take a while. No actually, I can’t make this any longer than it should be. I can’t really be here for as long as I want to. It’s watching me right now. You know when you have 10% on your phone and you really need to make an urgent call? It’s like that. I need to make this as fast as possible. Because once it hits 0….. things don’t really end well. But either way this isn’t about a phone right?
So…. where was I again? Right, when I was born. So, usually, when you’re a toddler, you remember things like….. nothing. You’re not supposed to remember anything as a toddler. I mean, you were like…. barely even in this world, right? The oldest thing you could remember was maybe when you first started walking? Maybe. I don’t know, but the point is, I did remember something. It wasn’t the first time I spoke. It wasn’t the first time I walked. It wasn’t even the first time that I had called my parent’s name. No, the first thing that pops up in my head when I recall those very hazy days is something watching me. Now, for god’s sake I can’t describe this being. For if I were to describe it to you, you would be forced to be its witness. Yes, this being takes more than one. It’s a being that watches over anyone that realizes it’s existence. So that begs the question. How do I know it? Well, I’ve come to learn that it’s born alongside toddlers. In other words, newborns have a chance to meet this creature. A chance, I say, because a lot of my friends are not being watched by this creature. I’ve always learned that this creature may also be of inheritance, in that, my parents are also victim to its eyes. But, whenever I’ve asked, they’ve always looked away. Or maybe, towards.
So, I ask you again, you who are dearly reading this, you who are clinging to your life, have you ever gotten the feeling that something was watching you? Because I have. All the time. In fact, there is never a time where I don’t feel like I’m being watched. How can I say this? Well, let me tell you a story about my life.
It was probably around fourth grade where I started realizing that this thing was watching me. Okay, I realized way sooner, but it was around that time, the fourth grade, that I really started realizing. It’s like, when you realize you’re staring at someone, but then you don’t realize you’re staring so intensely that it’s creepy. Kind of like that. So around the fourth grade, when I was in the fourth grade, I began realizing that this thing was staring at me, and that it wasn’t normal.
Did I know this thing? No, of course not. No one else knew what it was either. Actually, I take that back, no one else could see it. Because, it chooses who it wants to see, and thus, chooses who can see it. I fell victim probably when I was around the second grade. I was a peculiar kid, not easily frightened, and not easily fazed. But that meant that most people were wary of me. I would be the first to enter a dark room, the first to be interested in ghost stories and the last to be under their desks when it came to emergency lockdowns. I embraced death, because I think that as a kid, I understood that death embraced us. Death is our friend, and he’s just a lonely being. I mean think about it, the people who meet death, only meet with him in such a short fraction of a second that only happens once that it would make anyone cry. Death is a sad being and I think I wanted to be death’s friend. But, at the same time, the thing that was watching me, I felt a bad vibe around it. It wasn’t death, no. It was a harbinger of death. No, it wasn’t that either. It was a thing that lead to disasters. Yes, something like that. It was just, a really bad feeling. You know, when you were a kid, it was like the feeling you get when being around that one weird kid in class. Yes? No? Either way, I knew that the thing was bad news. So I never really gave it any heed. It was always just there, in the corner of my eyes, staring at me. You know, it looked very……
So, as you read this, I have to ask you a question. It’s a simple question really. It’s one that anyone could answer. Have you ever gotten the feeling that something was watching you? I for sure have. Like, every day. In fact, let me say, that this feeling isn’t the type of feeling you get when a lover watches you. Oh no. Sit down, and let me tell you about it.
It was probably around the seventh grade where I really started questioning it. You know, like how you always wonder why you wake up, eat, go to school, come back, sleep. Things like that. You know, at that kind of age, you really start wondering why. And the things I questioned were; why was this thing following me? Why was it just watching? Why is it simply just watching? Why was it watching? I couldn’t answer these questions. Much like any ordinary middle school student, they don’t really have the answer to life. No, rather, the things they answer are math equations, science questions and the theorem to whether they can wake up in the morning or not. But what answers did I get? Not much. You see, the thing that has been watching me all this time. It’s…. a docile creature. I can say that much for sure. It exudes a pure aura. You know, like it’s a guardian. I never feel alone, and when it’s around me, I feel safe. It’s a feeling that you can never die. And so, when I tried to cut myself, to prove it’s sentience, I ended up in the hospital. And I swore I could hear it laugh. It laughed so loud that it screeched across the room and made glass vibrate. It was a creature that didn’t care. And I respected it’s nature. Just watching me, at any moment in my life. Wherever I go, even in my dreams. It was there. And wherever it went, I always greeted it. Gave it a warming smile, waved back. And simply went about my business.
Some may question my behavior, but I deem it as the most natural. I mean when you have supernatural after you, what is there to do then conform? Think about it, it’s kind of like curses and miracles. If you’re under a curse, you go with it. You let it consume you lest you be consumed by it. You become it’s maker. You try to fight, but you realize that fighting a curse will only make it hurt. So you die. And if this creature is a miracle, all the more. I can’t distinguish between curses and miracles anymore, but I do what I need to do so that the creature watching me, is satisfied. Because, in the worst case scenario, I should be the only one being watched. You know, sometimes I want to cry in my sleep. Something when I’m walking home, I want to stop and cry. And sometimes when I’m having fun, I just can’t help but burst into tears. You know, privacy? That’s not a thing. It watches everything. And I fear that it will grow accustomed to the things that I have grown accustomed to. And that it will follow them as well. You know? I don’t believe in fate, I believe in miracles. You know? It’s kind of like a phone. Science has grown so far, now we can talk long distances, give messages with a click of a button, we’ve come so far? If only, maybe, if only the thing that has been watching me sees all this progression, maybe? It would also follow us to the depths of the earth. Maybe, it will never leave us alone? Hey? Have I ever told you? What it was like? Being watched?
I mean, I beg to ask you the question. Have you ever gotten the feeling that something was watching you? You know? That urge to just turn and see something staring into your soul? Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. I have. All the time. Like, you know how it feels when you’re under a cop interrogation, because you were trying to run away from that creature and ended up in a really sticky situation? I mean, it’s horrible. No one else can see it. So why does it have to follow me? Right? Right? Right?
Oh hey, have I ever told you how it looks? It freaks me out. You know, it kind of looks like me. But everything about it is all wired. Like it’s me, but, it’s all the flesh and bone and all the organs strewn out. It’s like me, if I were cut up by a sword and put in a blender, but then realized that I didn’t taste good so I froze myself, thawed myself out then put all the parts back into myself. It’s me, but it’s not me. It’s like me when I can’t really think. It really looks like me, but a disfigured version of myself.
But, that’s just my view on it, you can’t really tell what it looks like, because you can’t see it right? Hey look. It’s laughing again. Now, it’s walking closer to me. It’s coming closer. It’s