Hello once again to the second part of this series. This series really is just a mini-project as most of the parts are just not that big to begin with. Taking away the first part, you can even read this part without really knowing why, it still makes sense since a good portion of this series is all flashback. But, either way, a big reason why I’m even doing a series like this is because I personally have an infatuation with winter. It is indeed my favorite season, and whether my beliefs are portrayed into the characters beliefs are up to you. Also, the only reason why they are unnamed is just because, I mean, do they need a name? Maybe, maybe not. For now, they are, the man, and the woman, nothing more, nothing less. Just people, to represent, let’s say. Anyway here you go, “That Day In Winter: Part 2”
When I was a kid, I was pretty lonely. You know, now that I’m older, I think most kids are like that. They were lonely. Even if they may have a lot of friends, it doesn’t matter. Most kids, are lonely. And it may seem weird for me to give that kind of assumption without anything backing me, but I’ll just say that I’m a living example.
I wasn’t that outlandish either, you know. I was just a regular kid I guess. I liked playing sports with my friends, I talked about action figures and heroes and I did what I was asked to by the teachers. The only problem was that I was just that much more aggressive when it came to bullies. I said I wasn’t outlandish, but I only hid that part of me. Most people just saw me as a regular guy that anyone could get along with. And it wasn’t until later that I soon started scaring others.
I think it all started one day when I was playing in the sandbox. I was alone making a sand castle, it was a school day, the sun was shining brightly, and the sky was cloudless. I was minding my own business, but of course, that didn’t mean that if something happened that I wouldn’t notice. There was one other kid with me in the sandbox, I didn’t really know him or anything, but he was there doing his own thing. He had glasses. I don’t know if I should call him a nerd or a geek or something, but I think he was reading a book as well.
“Ah!” Those were the words that caught my attention. They were loud, and stung the air. I turned my little head towards the direction of the voice, and noticed that same kid with glasses being surrounded by five older guys. They were probably a year older than us, and although not all of them looked that scary, five of them together definitely were. The kid with glasses just sat there, looking up in terror as the five kids shadowed over him. The only thing that was running through my mind when I saw that scene was that something needed to be done. Remember how I was making my sandcastle? I had a shovel, and a bucket. I think I threw the bucket first. It hit his head pretty hard I think since he jerked back and gave me this nasty look. I then got a scoop of sand from my shovel and shoved it in his direction, hoping that I would get the rest as well. I was a dumb kid weren’t I? The bucket would have been way more effective. At this point, the kids started yelling at me.
Before I knew it, I was in a rumble with five older kids. I lost, and I got pretty beaten up because of it, but at least the kid with the glasses was fine, right? Well, he left that day, after I got roughed up by those bullies. But it was the next day that really made me become who I was. The kid with the glasses showed up again, and there I was with all my bandages and what not. The bullies weren’t here today, so I went up to the kid.
“Hey!” The kid ignored me.
“Hey you listening?” The kid looked up at what he was doing, his eyes were piercing. I think at that point I got a bit agitated.
“What’s your problem? I helped you!”
“Don’t get involved.”
“I said, don’t get involved!” My kid self was honestly surprised. But at the same time, I think I was more angry than anything. I grabbed the kid by his shoulders.
“What do you mean!?”
“Don’t you get it?”
“They thought that you were protecting me.”
“Now they’re just going to try harder on me!”
“What?” I didn’t believe it. It sounded like complete lies to me, it made no sense at the time. But I began witnessing it. Over time, as I lived out those silent days, I began noticing it. Those five bullies, they attacked the kid with glasses even more than before. I even overheard them one time.
“Not so tough without your friend are you?” At that moment, I realized just how much my actions meant. Just how useless a person can be. And just how hopeless I was. I began hearing rumors as well, people were avoiding me, they thought I was scary, that if they hung out with me, that they would only be hurt. I couldn’t understand why, I didn’t want to. I think at that time, I began losing some of my friends as well, and the people that remained my friends, were just doing it out of pity.
I was a lonely person back then, you see. All I wanted to do was help him out, but all I did was make things worse. And I never bothered to fix any of the misunderstandings either, I just remained quiet. I remained quiet and let it all come at me. I wonder what kind of a person I had to be, to let all those things be said to me, and not do anything. I really was pathetic weren’t I?
But since I was a kid, I didn’t really have any deep feelings about anything that was going on. The only thing I understood, was that people were isolating me, and that I couldn’t do anything about it. I was being treated like an outcast, and soon enough, I got used to it. You know, that’s the scariest part. Once you get used to it. It’s like you’ve given up, like you’re saying to the world to do away with you. At that time, that was probably what was going on in my head. I wanted the world to just whisk me away.
I wanted to be alone.