That Day In Winter: Part 4

Hello once again to the second last part of this series. This part is especially short, but yeah, I just didn’t want to conflict with the switch of perspectives that I plan for the final part. It was kind of unintentional but without knowing, I had swapped narrative perspectives without really realizing it, but hey it all worked out in the end since it was the man’s memories that I wanted to portray. But yeah this series was pretty fun since it’s a topic that I sympathize with a lot and its a topic they I always wanted to try. I kind of had one of my favorite youtubers Wong Fu Productions in mind since, if you don’t know them (Totally check out their works) they do a lot of shorts that are in this kind of solemn mood. Their videos all have a sort of meaning one way or another, and the are always enjoyable, and I guess have a serious tone in a way. But anyway, here you go, “That Day In Winter: Part 4”.

It wasn’t until the next day, that I really figured out what was going on. No matter how much I didn’t want to accept reality,  I knew it wasn’t going to change because of me. I knew it, but I screamed anyway. I screamed, I cried, and I regretted. I regret not being able to tell her. I still don’t know where she is, or if she even is. But if I meet her again one day, I’ll tell her. I’ll tell her properly this time.

The next day, when I went back to that shortcut, instead of her, I met another person. She was dragging a sled with her, the sled we used. She was really tall, her hair was cut short, and I remember her as being an adult. Her hair was the same color, so was her eyes. I wasn’t scared, rather, I was confused. When she noticed me, she had a look of worry, and pity. I wanted to ask her something, about the girl I met. Whether she knew about it or not. And so I did.

“Oh…. so you were the one she was talking about.” It looks like she knew about me.

“Unfortunately…” She crouched, to get to the same eye height as me. It was a move that a lot of kind adults did, so that I wouldn’t have to look up, and so that they wouldn’t have to look down on me. They made it clear that we were talking on the same length, that we were both equal on the matter. Except, I don’t think I wanted to be.

“You won’t be able to see her anymore.”

“What do you mean, miss?”

“Well,” I could see in her eyes that she was trying to pick out the right words. She was trying to make sure I could understand the situation.  Even if I did at the time, I really didn’t.

“You see, she’s at the hospital right now.”

“Hospital?” Her sister explained to me how the girl I met was ill. She was almost terminally ill, and the doctors were working really hard to see what they could do. Day in and day out, they were working to save her life. Yesterday, however, was the one day where her condition actually saw some progress. She actually wasn’t allowed out, but she snuck out anyway. She snuck out because she wanted to take the sled down the hill. Her sister had hid the sled for them to use when she got better, but she couldn’t wait. Thinking back, I’m still amazed at how she snuck out, but, maybe I should have noticed.  I was the only one there, I could have stopped her, but I didn’t. She seemed so happy, like nothing could make her sad, until the realization that she wouldn’t be able to come here anymore because of her condition.  I don’t know how she thought of me. Maybe I was just an add-on, someone who was just there where she was. But to me, she was everything. At the height of my loneliness, where I had previously given up, I saw light. I saw her, and she called out to me. Maybe, she could have just left me, watched as I sat there in the snow, watched as I fell to my lonely temptations. But she didn’t. And I’m glad she didn’t. I’m glad she stuck her hand out to me. I’m glad, for that day in winter.

Ever since that day, I’ve realized just how stupid I was, and just how weak I was being. Ever since then, I’ve tried being stronger, I tried to make friends, I apologized, and I sought on. Because, ever since that day, I couldn’t help but think about how much that girl did for me, despite everything happening to her. I couldn’t let her kindness waste away. No, I didn’t let it waste away.

Her sister told me that they were going to move away soon because of her condition. Whether she was going to be okay or not, was all up to luck. The excursion she had took more out of her than she realized, but thankfully it didn’t worsen her condition that much. Her sister really was worried, but she didn’t scold me. Instead, she thanked me, for playing with her that day. Despite me not being able to see her, I’ve always wished that she would come back to that town, even if it was only for a day, even if we would only sled down that one hill, I’ve always hoped for it. But I moved, and I would never know if she returned; If she returned to that hill, to see the ocean, to go down that hill once more.

I told her sister to tell her one thing, and I still regret  not being able to tell her in person, but I thought at that time that I couldn’t do anything about it. That was my only way. I told her sister to tell her, “Thank you for saving me. I had a lot of fun. ” I took off my scarf, and handed it to the sister, and told her to give it to her as a gift, and to tell her one more thing, “My mom was happy when you said her scarf was nice.” I smiled at her, then ran back to my house, without looking back. Only looking now, forward, towards the future, kicking away my past, shoving it into the snow.


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