Hello once again, to this mini series type thing. You know, I’m only realizing this now, as I’m writing on with this series and what not, but… it sure is strange for me to assume the position of a female narrator considering I’m a male. I’m not trying to insinuate anything, but for the first time, as I was writing and editing, I just had the most random thought occur to me since i was trying to get into a female mindset. But it is fun, I mean, it’s always fun assuming identities and creating these characters, but I just never gave it a second thought, is what I’m trying to say. I’m not going to 180 and start caring however, I’ve always loved characters for who they are, despite you know, how I feel about the matter. And, I’ve always had a soft spot for female characters (In the most platonic way ever), especially “Strong” female leads. You know what? This turned into a pretty strange intro, but anyway, here you go, “Friends of a Cat: Mark 2” (I should have called these things “paws” or something, that would have been cool).
Surprisingly, I didn’t need to wait long to see him again. It was on my way back from school, like any other day. Except, today was Friday. So it wasn’t like any other day. Today was special, because it was a Friday. Know why? Because what’s after a Friday? A SATURDAY! That means the weekend for us students. But anyway, my excitement aside, while I was walking home that day, I saw him again. My cat wasn’t out though.
I didn’t know what exactly he was doing when I saw him. He was…. holding a glass bottle. It was empty, however, but there was a flower sticking out of it. I thought it was strange, but, he placed it near the wall, where the roads crossed. It was…. something that I never could understand at the time, so I could never realize when or if I was being insensitive. But the way he looked that day, told me many things. His eyes, told me he was sad. But his mouth, told me he was angry. His hands, told me he was holding it in. I didn’t know what to do when I saw him like that. He looked so gentle, from the back, his hair was tied neatly in a ponytail, but I knew that he had a lot going on. Who didn’t?
“Hey? Tail?” I called out to him, unbeknownst to my own selfishness. After all, I was quite lonely.
“Oh! I didn’t notice you there, Winter.”
“What brings you here today? Just another special day?” I teased him a bit. But, that was the wrong move. Minus one point, past self.
“Yeah…. just another, special day.” Because he looked sad when he replied back to me. I didn’t like that, I never did.
“Don’t worry about me. You seem plenty worked up, tired?” He pointed at my eyes, and even at the time, I never realized, just how much I cried sometimes. I cried, yeah. That’s right, I hate to admit it but I cried, because I don’t have many friends. I was crying because I knew everyone talked behind my back. Everyone puts on airs around me. They hated me. Because I was….. a person that could never fit among them all. I was an outsider. I came in, gathered attention, and then, they hated it all. I grabbed the attention of so many people, I was outstanding, having only moved here at the beginning of my high school life. People called me “pretty”, “cute” and “slutty” and “ugly” and “bitchy” and “trash”. Do you know why? Because when I first moved here, I tried my very best to wash up and look presentable. I didn’t want people to think of me as repulsive. But the more attention I attracted as the new transfer student, the more people flocked towards me. And, the more, the ones who didn’t, began to hate me. Those were the ones who were self conscious, and the ones who hated who I was, because of what? My looks? Those people, came at me in groups and groups, tormenting me every day, until one day, I had it all. The rumors began piling up one after another, and there was no stop to it. People began avoiding me, and…. I just wanted to hide. I wanted to hide from everyone. I wanted to hide, I wanted to hide and die. But most of all, I just wanted a friend. That’s all I wanted. A friend.
“Tired? Me? Can’t be!” I answered him in a cheery tone. I didn’t know what I was doing. I really didn’t know what I was doing. It was because of what he said that made me remember all of those things at the time. It made me go through them all like a photo album. Do you know why I used that analogy? Because photos will stick with you. They are eternal, just like those memories.
“Well, I won’t say anything. It’s not my place. And anyway, I’m done with my business here, I’m heading home.” I met him for such a short time, and he left in such a short time. But I was curious. No matter what, I was curious. You know why? Why I was curious? Because I realized that he didn’t know me. And he didn’t know anything about me. How could he? He went to another school. We just met, and hey, it’s pretty crazy but, I wanted to be his friend. I wanted to be his friend, because…. because I really wanted to run. I wanted to escape my feelings and assure myself that I was still…. me. That somewhere inside of me, I was still the same person as before. But who the hell am I kidding? Even as I am now, I still don’t know who I am. I’ll never remember who I am, because I never really figured it out in the first place. I’m just a lonely girl.
“Wait!” I called out to him.
“How about… you stay, for a bit longer? And we can talk! Yeah, let’s talk!” I was pretty pushy, right? A bit pushy, and worried. I hope it didn’t show in my voice.
“Talk? If it’s only for a bit, then sure. What do you want to talk about?”He asked me what I wanted to talk about, but to be honest, I didn’t really know. I was just saying things in the spur of the moment, so I never thought that far into it. I didn’t even expected him to say yes. But I had to think of something quickly since he was giving me this weird questioning look.
“Uh… then… about… school?” I was really tripping on my words, and to top it off, I decided that school was a suitable topic. Really, how much of an idiot was I? Minus one, no… minus ten points.
“School? Okay. What about it?”
“Then… is it…. fun?” What was I even saying at this point? I was so flustered so bad with words, he must have thought I was just being weird. But even if he did, he still talked to me.
“Is it fun? That’s a funny question. Let me think…” He really did think. He placed his hand over his mouth and really thought about it. All I could do was look at him, and admire him, admire his gentle prose. His gentle nature that I was sure was his normal self. And all I could do was long for that. Long for a gentleness to wrap around me and embrace me.
“Yeah, I guess school is fine. Things happen but, things are fine. You get homework, you get tired, you get, troubled. Sometimes you even get sad. But, at the end of the day, isn’t that what youth is all about?” I looked at him, his words were chasing me, but I couldn’t help but notice a bitterness in his eyes. I didn’t give him a response, rather, he still had more on his mind.
“Despite what hardships may happen. You come through in the end. Because, you’re a kid. No matter what, we’re all still kids, huh? Because, even now, we have problems that we can’t say. Problems that are internal. But we strive to fix them. School is the same. We fix our own problems. And we work hard.” I thought about his words for a while before responding. He didn’t talk again, so I thought it was my turn to talk. After all, that’s how a conversation goes, right?
“Sounds tough. I mean, talking about being sad and the hardships of life, and everything. Things really are tough aren’t they? Even now, some kids might complain about life. But, really, that’s just how we are. Like you said, that’s youth. It’s all muddy, not something I like.” At least I could talk normally.
“It’s all muddy? That might be a nice way to put it actually.”
“Sometimes, it feels like that to me. I’m trying to move forward, but I never really gain any distance you know. I’m just stuck in the same place, while my legs are trying to move forward. Everything is hazy, and I can’t see much. I can’t hear anything, I can’t smell anything. It’s all muddy.” Those were my honest feelings. I was surprised that I was able to tell him that frankly. I’m still surprised that I had it in me. Plus one point.
“Then, how about we be muddy… together?” He stuck his hand out towards me. I was… flabbergasted. Actually no, I don’t like that word. It’s not cute. Minus one point to current self. I was surprised. Honestly, I was so surprised that butterflies were in my stomach. My heart was fluttering, and if it had wings, it would fly out of my chest. No, I didn’t fall in love at first sight, I don’t think that was it. Why was I so flustered? Why did I look so surprised? Because I could finally make a friend. That’s what I thought. That I finally had a chance to do something about myself. That fact alone, no… that thought alone, could make me fly.
“Yeah.” I accepted his hand, with a gentle smile on my face. The most gentle smile that I could ever remember making throughout that ordeal. Everything was pouring out, I was finally, at ease. I finally, made a friend. And so, from that day on, Tail and I would always meet up at that spot, that intersection. And we would talk. We talked about many things, but we talked. That was the point. Catch my drift? I’m skipping ahead now, because that was that. We talked, about many things. That’s all you really need to know. That’s all I need to know, that’s how I want to keep it, so…. please, let’s leave it at that… okay?