Friend-Friends

Hello once again, with this very late update, late as in late in time, but less on that. Today is something a little different, this is a non-fiction story type thing (More like a narrative essay) that I did a few days ago for a contest, but decided to scrap the idea because of reasons and here we are. I still like what I’ve written so here it is, in all it’s glory. The title is pronounced “Friend to Friends”, so yeah, here you go, “Friend-Friends”.

 

You know sometimes things just aren’t what they seem. You think you have everything you ever want, but the truth is no one ever has everything they want. It’s sad to think about it, but that’s just fact. However, there is reprise in that; you’ll never have everything you want, because you’ll never realize what you want. That’s fact; that’s life.

I have always been, and will always be an introvert, but I’m a rare case. You see, an introvert quite simply is one who likes to live on the inside. They are self contained, and it isn’t that they don’t like people, they just prefer to be by  themselves. I’m an introvert, and at the same time, I derive my energy, and my livelihood from being surrounded by my friends. I’m an introvert and an extravert, an entravert.

Everyday without fail, I would go to my usual circle of friends. This group was expansive, with reoccurring characters and cameos, but I chose to stick with them nonetheless. In a nutshell, this group was like a bag of trail mix. I knew what I was getting when I reach my hand into the bag, but every once in a while, I get something I didn’t expect. Though, it wasn’t that surprising, I can tell you that. This group wasn’t that full of surprises. It’s why I decided to stay. I hate surprises. I also hate trail mix.

I never thought that everything in my norm could have changed, though, I never thought I wanted it to change. Change is scary. It’s so scary. It’s really scary, but I like change. I hate surprises, but I like change. Change occurs when something in your norm is altered. My norm is a bag of trail mix, but I also like to play Frisbee. That’s probably the only sport I can play effectively, and despite that fact, I never bothered to join a team. That’s my introvert showing.

I was always a “casual” player. I played Frisbee for fun, not competition, and because of this, I made many friends in the world of Frisbee-ing. However, they weren’t in my main circle, so I wouldn’t consider them in the same bag of nuts, they were like a box of Smarties. I only ever had them when the occasion served, and usually not for long periods of time. Having too many chocolates is bad for you. Even if it’s on Halloween. I liked it though, I liked the company, and I liked playing with them. They were always tons of fun, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. They gave me the drive to keep playing and I wasn’t shy around them. That’s my extravert showing.

A culmination of all these began piling up before I knew it, and it all happened on one fateful day. One fateful day, a string of coincidences, and a whole load of new nuts. Salted, actually. They were very salty. That’s a good thing, I like my nuts salted. It’s just not very good if you eat too many. You start losing sight of things if you do. You see, my friend is a very good, and a very humble Frisbee player. He’s like, the go-to guy when you talk about Frisbee among my group of friends. He’s really good. Like, the top of the top (Sometimes). As thus, whenever he plays, and because we are good friends, I usually join in without question. This includes the fact that on this fateful day, I see him playing with a group of completely new people. People who are new to this high school. In short, first years. A brand new bag of trail mix.

I joined in on my friend’s playing, rather subtly, but I joined in. With the beautiful powers of association, I was able to not be that one-awkward-guy when we played, and because I could actually play, it basically broke the ice for many of them. I was able to talk to them naturally and I had fun with them. I had so much fun. And I got to meet new people. I think that was the most important part for me. I got to meet new people. Following that fateful day where I broke into their norm and broke into their circle of friends, I came back for another taste of that new brand of trail mix. I hate trail mix, but I wanted to see if this new kind could hook me. It did. And like the previous day, we played, we played again. We laughed, we had fun, and for the first time in the seventeen years that I have lived on this earth, I finally realized what was missing in my life.

What I wanted was change, but I would never come to know that until I had it. I would never come to realize that the circle of friends that I encroached my every being for, was just a false deity. I thought that coming into this new world of high school life would be trodden with bumpy hills and forks in roads that I would never even fathom. When I found my original circle of friends, I was relieved. I was overly relieved, and it was because of this relief that I had grown to be spoiled. I never broke out of my shell, and I would never realize this until I had met them, the first years. Despite being four year younger than me, they taught me something I would carry with the rest of my life. They taught me that if I wanted change, then I had to find it. After all, I would never come to realize it until I have it. I had so much fun playing with them, and when I was tired, I would plant my back onto the grass and stare up into the blue sky, wondering if the clouds had always seemed like sweet cotton candy. Never have I been this thankful and this happy to have met these people who accepted me so quickly and have become an integral part of my life. Never have I been so thankful for meeting new friends, and I’ll always remember them. Even if I may not be able to play Frisbee with them every day, I’ll still carry on what they gave me. I’ll carry on the smiles, and the laughs.

I may be an introvert, and I may be an extravert, but after meeting my second circle of friends, I’ve come to learn to embrace that. I’m lonely, excited, playful, and overall, just a bit scared, but I’ll keep moving on, and I’ll keep trying my best to meet new people. I like meeting new people now. I like talking to strangers so much now. I still hate trail mix though.

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