Realizing The Beauty of Cold

Hello once again, to the final installment of this set of memoirs, and setting off for a week full of new content for myself and possibly for here. Again, not much to say, other than I’m already working on something, so maybe prepare for that, but for now, enjoy. Here you go, “Realizing The Beauty of Cold”.

It was dark out, egregiously, but I didn’t care. As I came out of that bus, and looked to my sides to see darkness pervade around me, I smiled.  The bus behind me went on, with its headlights guiding it through the darkness. And the sounds of cars zipping by me filled my ears, but I soon closed it out. I walked forward, towards an open fence, into a dark pathway surrounded by trees. The branches of them hung low and nearly scathed my face, but I tried my best to avoid it. The gravel path beneath me was bumpy, rough, and barely holding together with rotten crabapples in my way. It had probably been about five years since I walked down this path, but everything about it had already been engrained in my mind. That thought made me smile.

As I walked down this path, I realized just how imprudent I was. I had lived in the area for all of my life, yet after I left the school which presided the path, I stopped using it. It was still useable, still intact, but yet I had forgotten about it. I remembered walking down that path every day when I was still in elementary school. However, that faded, and I soon had no need for it. I never realized it until I came home late one day for school, with the darkness around me.

I walked through the path until I reached the end, where the trees that engulfed me spit me out in a wide open space. A small ball court was to my left, and when I peered further, I could see another small park. Directly behind me was an apartment building, and forward to my right was another building, and a dwindling path towards the nearby plaza.  I walked forward, slowly, taking in everything. The cold of winter brushed across my face, and as I breathed out, I could see the white of my breath escape my mouth. I checked the time, and decided that there was no harm in it, and so I walked towards the park.

There was a fleeting sense of disappointment when I reached the park. It was everything that I had remembered it, a sand box, frozen over, a swing, slides, and a park bench. It was everything that I thought of when I was smaller, yet to me now, it was depressingly small. There was no flare in it. And perhaps the reason why I gravitated towards it, was because it mirrored something in me.

I dispelled such thoughts, and then walked forward back towards my home. The cold around me was gripping me tightly, and I had no business staying any longer within its property. Yet, for some reason, I couldn’t leave the path. I was drawn in by its nostalgic allure, and it was ever so difficult to leave. I stood there, along the path towards my home, just staring into space, with the cold of winter closing in on me. I didn’t care for anything in the world, but when I looked up into the night sky with the stars shining, I smiled again. This was perhaps the first time in my entire life that I ever bothered to look up into the night sky and gaze at stars.  At that moment, I thought that perhaps this was the only time where I could ever do it, and appreciate it. I was wrong, but at that moment, everything seemed so quaintly contained. It was the first time in my entire life that I had ever come to appreciate the stars, and the small light they brought to me. It was the first time in my life that I truly came to appreciate nature around me, and even with the cold swirling around me, I came to love it. I walked home that day smiling.

 

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